13 Things You Couldn't Pay Me to Buy

Go ahead. Just try me. Send me a blank check (made payable to "Jeff Yeager, The Green Cheapskate") and see if I succumb to the social pressures to buy any of the following:

1. "Green" household cleaners - Do you know about baking soda and vinegar?

2. A suit that costs more than $200 - As Warren Buffett said, "I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me." And at a thrift store, $200 will buy you a closet full of suits.

3. A cell phone - Pay to ruin the quality of my life?

4. Bottled water - News Flash: Bottled water may be unsafe, and definitely a waste of money and resources. Hate to say it, but I told you so.

5. A riding lawn mower - The only thing wider than the expanse of your grass, is the expanse of your ... If you're going to have a lawn at all, at least mow it with a push mower.

6. A Hummer - The new definition of "so un-cool."

7. A gym membership - Buy a used bicycle at the thrift store and pedal it on over to cancel your gym membership. Then ride it to work and on local errands.

8. Any pet that's not adopted - Adopt a stray from your local animal shelter, and be sure to have your dogs and cats spayed or neutered.

9. A powerboat or Jet Ski - I'll take my canoe or kayak, and the peace and quiet of being out on the water, any day.

10. A bottle of wine that costs more than $8 - A study showed that if you serve most people cheap wine and tell them it's expensive, they say they like it much better. So lie.

11. A tanning bed - I'll get my skin cancer the old fashioned way (or not) by spending time outside, in the sun. At least it's free.

12. A GPS - Another expensive device to let us use our brains less. Map reading and orienteering are important life skills...and what fun would life be if you don't sometimes get lost along the way?

13. Any piece of clothing that displays the name of the designer/brand - If you want to advertise on my body, you'll have to pay me, not the other way around.

So, how did I do? Send your comments (on the backside of a blank check) to "Jeff Yeager, The Green Cheapskate." Or comment below.

Jeff Yeager is the author of the book The Ultimate Cheapskate's Road Map to True Riches. His Website is www.UltimateCheapskate.com.