Parties are on my mind of late – we’ve been happily slogging through a bunch of birthday parties, end-of-school fairs, and plenty of summer gatherings. I’ve gotten several emails lately asking how to green these parties, including 4th of July celebrations. Here are my suggestions. Fittingly, I’m typing these on my own birthday.

FOOD

• Buy Local, Buy Organic
  'Tis the season to serve local food. Opt for organic local when you can find it. Why bother with cupcakes when you can serve a flat of local blueberries and first of the season peaches?

• Serve Grass-fed Beef (or Why Not Squash?)
  The number one way to reduce the impact of a BBQ party is to serve grass-fed hamburgers. The environmental toll of conventional meat is gargantuan. It’s also totally inhumane. See the excellent film Food Inc. for an education (or a refresher course) on hamburger patties, agribusiness chickens and more. Grilled “squash burgers” are another fabulous option – cut pattypans into thick rounds and grill.

• Be Careful with Your Condiments
  Don’t forget about going organic for mustard, ketchup, pickles, buns and more. If you’re using charcoal, buy sustainable briquettes (Whole Foods carries some or try these and never use lighter fluid. It’s highly toxic.

• Avoid Fishy Fish
  If you’re serving fish, choose wisely. ...

One of the first of many green changes I made years ago -- long before I was even thinking of getting pregnant -- was to replace my conventional antiperspirant with the most natural and effective deodorant I could find. This was wise for several reasons. Conventional products tend to contain a whole host of best-to-avoid substances including hormone disrupters, petrochemicals, lung irritants, and other suspect ingredients. These are not only potentially harmful to the adults who use them, but also to teenagers who are still developing, babies in utero, breastfeeding babies (internally and externally -- they're often leaning skin-on-skin up near your armpits) and even to the waterways and aquatic life where traces of the conventional gunk winds up after we shower it off.

But finding an effective natural replacement is no easy task if you're not a dainty fleur. I have plenty of friends and even family members who fall into that category -- they can garden and hike and build furniture and do all sorts of heavy lifting wearing certain natural brands that are so ineffective on me. I still feel pity for the yoga teacher who was with me when I wore them as I went through my "transition" phase -- searching for the one. It was a lengthy and somewhat stinky search. Oh well. I made it through to the other side.

I'm not someone who normally suggests products by brand, but ...

Triclosan, an antibacterial chemical found in soaps, personal care products and other consumer goods, is contaminating our waters, marine life and our own bodies.

I'm not really sure how parenting happened before cell phones. How did my parents know where I was at night in high school? Before anyone accuses me of over-parenting and laments this new age of Big Brother moms and dads, I know that growing up in New York City before it was as safe as it is today even I -- as the kid, not the parent -- would have been more comfortable coming home at my curfew if I had had a cell in my bag.

But even if they make both parents and kids feel safer, are they actually safe?

I follow all of the recent studies on cell phones, warily, as I continue to use mine. They don't seem like a good idea, health wise. I use a headset to reduce my exposure to electromagnetic radiation, but they break all the time and, when they don't, I often misplace them. I try to text and email more than I talk, in another effort to reduce exposure to my head. In general I have a low- to medium-grade mistrust of the things and yet ...

Memorial Day Weekend (for some of us) means the beginning of having and/or being houseguests for a few months. We fall into the houseguest side of this equation. As urbanites, we want our daughter to have time out of the city, especially when the weather is good. So we spend a lot of the summer visiting family (and sometimes friends and friends-with-kids) who live outside the city or have second homes.

Whatever side of the equation you fall on, houseguest season can equal eco-related awkwardness. For environmentally sensitive hosts housing environmentally insensitive friends or family members, situations can arise over things like the Hummer they drive up in, requests for non-dairy creamer, too many towels used, extra long hot showers and so on. For environmentally sensitive guests staying with environmentally insensitive hosts, similar issues can arise over sheets that have been washed in conventional detergents and reek of synthetic (hormone disrupting!) fragrance, BBQs involving lighter fluid and frozen conventional packaged beef patties, and garden pesticides misted near crawling babies.

It's a delicate dance, but here are a few ways to manage.

If you're hosting, you have home court advantage. Chances are whoever is coming to stay with you knows you well enough to understand your eco tendencies. Keep in mind that guests are not people attending a lecture you're giving! Welcome them. A few simple ways to avoid the worst pitfalls:

*Offer to cook all meals, or to do the grocery shopping for meals well meaning guests offer to cook. Take them to the farmers' market Saturday morning and let them do whatever they want to there. Shrug off any stupid comments regarding your "hippie" diet. Or offer them other tasks you might want done - mowing, weeding, whatever - instead of cooking.

*Do the dishes if they're using too much soap and water for your liking. No one minds a host that does everything - green or not.

*If you have a no-shoes in house rule, make that clear from the get go.

*Explain to them (gently) that you're giving them one towel for shower/bath, and one for swimming. Imply that there will be no more where those come from.

*Tell them you have hot water heater problems.

*Try not to get into post dinner tipsy clean up discussions on the merits of bleach vs. vinegar unless you think your guest is truly asking your opinion rather than picking on your (wise) choices.

*Don't forget to be gracious - serving a gift-from-your-guests dessert or a wine that isn't up to your organic standards won't kill anyone and will go a long way to smooth over any other glitches.

If you're a guest, being gracious is equally crucial.

Here are a few thoughts on how to (quietly) green your weekends in non green spaces.

*There's a lot that can be done under the radar. If fragrant sheets make you toss and turn at night, pack a few pillow cases from home that don't smell. Your host will be none the wiser and you'll be more comfortable. Baby blankets and sarongs can be spread over sheets as well. And hosts are always thrilled when people pack their own beach towels - less laundry for them once you go.

*People with specific dietary needs (i.e. vegans, diabetics, those with food allergies etc.) are pretty used to traveling with their staples without offending hosts. Why not do the same for whatever organic musts you feel like you can't spend a weekend without? This is easily done when traveling with (notoriously picky) kids. Arrive with some of their preferred milk, cereal, noodles, cheese, whatever, and everyone will just be pleased they're eating. So what if you're also using that milk for your coffee or snacking on what they're snacking on? Chances are no one will notice. Especially if you bring enough to share. Don't make a big deal of it.

*Head to the farmers' market. Most weekend spots have great local markets on Saturday mornings. Go with your hosts (if they want to go) and load up on all of the fresh local goodies you'd like to be eating for the weekend. Offer to cook them all up into a lovely meal for everyone. Win win.

*To avoid garden pesticides, offer to help. When the hosts hand you a spray can of weed killer, just bend down and start weeding by hand. It's addictive and effective. I should know - I've been hand weeding at my less-green-than-I'd-like-them-to-be parents' house for years now.

*Arrive bearing green gifts -- a bag of better charcoal for the grill, beeswax candles, organic mosquito repelant, biodynamic wine, natural soap, an organic gardening book. With any luck, they might just use them while you're there. Just don't over explain or lecture about what it is you're giving them and why. That's obnoxious overkill.

One person's green lifestyle does have the odd tendency to make others who aren't living green uncomfortable, especially in close quarters. But all it takes is a certain level of sensitivity and openness on both sides, and cohabitating during the summer months is truly possible.

Happy summer.

It's warming up in the Northeast - Memorial Day weekend is nearly upon us - which means readers are in the market for and asking about safe sunblock again. I haven't given the goop much thought since last summer so have been just sending curious emailers a link to what I last wrote here about sunscreen.

A few weeks ago, I finally went shopping for new tubes of my chosen brands and the stock looked a bit sparse. Several days later I happened on the following announcement on my mainstay brand's website:

"New European regulations for sunscreens will soon require levels of UVA protection that are impossible to achieve with natural mineral sun filters such as the titanium dioxide in Dr.Hauschka Sunscreens. In order to meet the requirements of these new regulations and maintain our products' SPF ratings, we would be forced to reformulate using synthetic filters.

"Our unwavering dedication to pure, holistic skin care and BDIH guidelines for natural ingredients prevent us from using synthetic sun filters in our preparations. As a result, Dr.Hauschka Skin Care has made the difficult decision to discontinue our existing sun care range.

"As of January 1, 2009, Dr.Hauschka Sun Care products will no longer be available in the U.S."

This was truly news to me. That it happened back in January was a shock -- how come no one told me? I picked up the phone and started emailing to see if anyone else knew what these new regulations were, and, most importantly, what other people were going to use ...

I often hear from parents wanting to know if one jarred food is better than another. Other than always suggesting families choose organic over conventional, I have no jar preferences. The boiled within an inch of whatever nutrients might be left mush in any jar is often older than the very kid parents are trying to feed. The best thing I can say about jarred food is that the empty jars can be reused as excellent first drinking glasses for children. It should come as no surprise that I'm a big advocate of homemade baby food, toddler food, kid food, teenage food, and adult food.

"But it takes too much time," is the near constant refrain I hear from many of the people seeking my advice on what and how to feed their children. Eh - not so much. It's all about what you spend your time on. There are a lot of things I'd happily give up in order to make our food. Still, I have more than a few time (and, coincidentally, energy) cutting tricks up my sleeve I employ. I help myself always have the makings of a meal on hand by pre-prepping future dishes as I cook other meals. For example, whenever I have the oven on baking or roasting something for a meal (say, potatoes), I fill it with extra items that can be used in upcoming days (say, winter squash to puree into a soup, or beets to chop up and put in a salad).

These are items that take time - often an hour or so - to bake. Which is why doubling up is crucial. The only way to cut their cooking time is by using a pressure cooker. I've suggested them to people for years, and have had others suggest them to me. But to be totally honest, I've had only ever seen them demo-ed and had never experimented with one. Until this past weekend.

I've been doing a bunch of green parenting talks of late. Generally I go through my top 10 how-to-live-green list, adapting and tweaking it slightly depending on my audience. I obviously love to talk to a big group, but when I get a small one, it enables me to do Q&A as I go through my list, rather than waiting until the end of my spiel. Answering questions as I go along means everyone (mostly) gets answered. It also teaches me a lot about what's on the collective mind. And these days, apparently, it's diapers.

My answer is usually some version of what I've written about diapers here (The Case for Disposable Diapers, Parts I and II) and in The Complete Organic Pregnancy -- that conventional disposables aren't a green option, and that it's a toss up between "green" disposables and cloth diapers (so says the NRDC), unless you're washing said cloth at home and line drying them.

I haven't actually written about diapers in a while, and I have some new(er) information I've been mentioning at my talks that I'd like to share here....

It's a miserable rainy spring day but we pulled on our waterproof boots and other gear anyway and headed out into it to trek to a farmers' market across town. We had missed the smaller market closer to us this past weekend and rumor had it the asparagus are at long last here. Rain can't stand between me and my first of the season goods. My 3-year-old knows the depths of my passion for real local food and indulged me this soggy trek, even though it meant she was stuck in her stroller for longer than she likes.

I've been thinking a lot about food lately, for many reasons. The arrival of the spring onions, mizuna, and other gorgeous greens at the farmers' markets coincides with the editing of my next book, a total guide to sustainable food and kitchens, due out from Clarkson Potter next year. I'm busily testing recipes, and my daughter is truly helping me as a sous chef - kneading dough, tearing herbs from stems, tasting everything, and offering her (pretty hilarious) opinions. I've been eagerly awaiting this moment, for her to be old enough to really be my kitchen companion, rather than her just sitting there and eating while I work. It's the best Mother's Day gift I can think of.

April showers may bring May flowers, but they also bring some dull family days stuck indoors with kids and parents alike climbing the walls. Combine the weather with school vacation (we return to school this week), and I've been digging deep into my mental bag of eco rainy day activities of late. I hope some of what we've been up to will keep other families busy during downpours. Keep in mind that my daughter is 3, so all of the below is appropriate for kids around that age. Her younger and older friends have happily taken part in the same activities. If you've got other tricks up your sleeve, share the wealth in comments. We're all looking for fun, easy to do at home distractions that don't involve buying new toys or eco-and-health unfriendly art supplies.

1. Labor-intensive, kid-friendly baking or cooking projects

I'm talking-time consuming projects, or ones that you can come back to in stages -- bread, pizza dough, muffins and the like. Last week we even tested a recipe for my upcoming book on green kitchens and food by making truly local pasta -- farmers' market eggs, flour from Wild Hive, and New York City tap water. We didn't use any equipment -- we hand kneaded and rolled, and were quite delighted with the results. Our only gripe is we didn't make enough. If the youngest kids are dying to get in on the action but are hindering rather than helping, give them their own flour and water mixture to play with while you make the real deal. If you have machines, use them all -- make smoothies, bread, dry fruit into fruit rolls, make ice cream, pop popcorn and flavor it several different ways etc. etc.

2. "Beading" with found objects

We made necklaces and bracelets strung with everything from shells we have collected on the beach to beads from old necklaces of mine that have fallen apart, pieces of cardboard, and fabric from old t-shirts and the like. ...

The fruit trees are in bloom in New York City. They're beyond gorgeous -- there's nothing like trees lousy with blossoms decorating this concrete jungle. It's not warm enough yet to abandon our winter coats entirely, but we have had some lovely moments wandering around the neighborhood scouting for our favorite pears, cherries and magnolias, smiling at the crocuses and the daffodils, saying "forsythia" over and over (the word makes my daughter laugh), and sniffing hyacinths. It's a bright, hopeful, vibrant time of year (even in this economy). I suspect these first blushes of spring have something to do with why I know so many people born nine and ten months from April and May, including my daughter, her father, his mother, my grandmother, and my father.

If budding branches have you in a trying-to-get-pregnant mood, here are a few thoughts -- from The Complete Organic Pregnancy -- on what you might want to add to your regimen and purge from your life as you go at it....

Organic-interested people -- parents or not -- the country over have long told me they cannot find the percentage of organic items they would like to fill their lives with. They don't have enough, or sometimes any, choices, they lament to me, at the grocery store, and certainly not if they want to buy lunch out when at the office. It's hard, they e-mail me, to find local milk, and/or vegetables, let alone pasture-raised animals. The refrain is always the same: "I. Don't. Live. In. California."

Well neither do I. And while New York, my hometown, has a tremendous variety of organic items, from food to beauty products to crib mattress to cleaning products to year-round farmers' markets, it, too, is not California. A few years ago when I was first researching The Complete Organic Pregnancy, living the lifestyle was much more difficult than it is today, even in New York. Which I find heartening; the bounty has really arrived. Which means it is and will be arriving all over the country. But even as it's easier for me to go grab lunch without too much forethought, New York still isn't California.

Hi,

I've been reading your blog for almost a year now and just love it. I've tried almost every baby and toddler wash available labeled organic, green, natural, etc. So far I haven't found one that I was completely happy with. Upon further investigation of the ingredients some aren't as chemical-free as I would like, others are filled with unnecessary ingredients or fillers, and one in particular was so icky I couldn't get through the whole bottle without switching (and I hate to waste). My favorite "wash" so far has been a homemade concoction of Dr. Bronner's Mild liquid soap, some vegetable glycerin, and a drop of rose essential oil. It lathers up, rinses clean without any residue and smells clean, not perfumey. I'm curious what wash is preferred by the "organic moms."

Sincerest thanks,
Elizabeth from California

Hi Elizabeth,

That sounds like a lovely concoction. For more ideas on how to make your own natural personal care products beyond baby wash, check out ...

One of the things I love most about living in New York is being car-free. Nothing could be greener. Here is how I get to places, in order of frequency: I walk (and push a stroller) or I take subways and buses. Less than ten times a year I take a taxi. I grew up in New York so this is all I've ever known, though at various points in my pre-kid life, I rode more subways, walked less, and took more cabs. Although I did learn to drive in my late teens, and even have a license, I don't drive. I used to but as I never did it with any frequency, I was (and am) terrible. Driving terrifies me. And I all around hate it - from being behind the wheel to the gasoline that makes the cars go.

Still, being a parent, cars are convenient, even for the urban dweller. From time to time over the years we have borrowed cars from friends and family for long haul errands, carting stuff around, or even for weekend trips. Our needs never seemed to be enough to warrant joining Zipcar, an eco-tastic business model I have long admired, until parenthood.

I was so excited when I filled out Zipcar's online forms. It all felt just right. One of the first trips we took in a Zipcar, conveniently parked less than 5 blocks away, was to our organic Community Supported Agriculture farm. The new relationship was off to a great start.

But it quickly went downhill. It turns out ...

There must be something in the air, as I've been getting formula question after formula question this week. It should come as no surprise to anyone who has read The Complete Organic Pregnancy or any of my blog entries here or elsewhere that I firmly believe breast is best, unless it is truly not available (adoption, breast cancer, etc.). I have touched on organic formulas here and elsewhere, very basically, when there have been contamination issues and questions. But as a general rule of thumb, I don't stay on top of the latest in formula news, or recommend one formula over another. I don't think infant nutrition is something that should be outsourced to a manufacturer. And I'm fully prepared for the pissed off comments this post will elicit. ...