Sometimes craft projects go horribly wrong and when they do, comedian April Winchell's Website Regretsy.com is there to lovingly poke fun.
Regretsy highlights some of the very worst from DIY craft site Etsy in hilarious form. We've collected some of Winchell's favorite craft abominations some of which are featured in her book, Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF ($11.20 at amazon.com.
Unicorn Pig Hat
From the Description: "This hat is hand crocheted and designed for the child or adult who wants to show off just how proud they are to be a unique individual in this world. he has a three dimensional snout and horn. he looks adorable when worn or set on a stuffed animal for an added effect. he only has one eye - which happens to be his third eye to guide him through life with great insight and intuition."
Regretsy Says: "You're scaring my inner child."
We Say: Keep in mind the unicorn "horn" is made of tin foil. Tin foil.
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/divinelytwizted
Feather Cocktail Ring
From the Description: "Make a huge statement with this bold ceramic cocktail ring ... Be the envy of all. Handmade with provocative intent."
Regretsy Says: "Its called a 'cocktail ring' because you can balance a 12 ounce tumbler on it. And its ceramic, so youre all set when the hot hors doeuvres come out."
We say: Is that a parrot wearing a top hat?
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/StudioLeanne
"Dear" Hoof Ornament
From the Description: I am both fascinated and repulsed by this object ... I love deer and used to cry when my brother and father went hunting for them. I cried when I watched the movie the yearling. I still love sweet and gentle deer. Yet when I came across this odd sampling of taxidermy I was struck by its beauty.
Regretsy Says: "For Rudolph so loved the world, he gave his only foot."
We Say: Have a holly, jolly hooftastic Christmas.
From the Description: "Sterling Silver necklace is approximately 22 inches including clasp. Eyelashes are made of 100% human hair."
Regretsy Says: "Its okay, I dont want to look at it either."
We Say: Hey, is your necklace winking at us?
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/stephaniesimek
"You Are Magnicifent" Wall Hanging
From the Description: "This listing is for a small wall hanging approx. 5 1/2" by 7 1/2". It is hand-painted and embellished with beautiful butterflies, flowers and swashes. Pink glitter is added for that extra 'sparkle.' Perfect for a little girl's room!"
Regretsy Says: "'Magnicifent'? Hardly! This piece is positively majsetic!"
We Say: Genius doesn't require spell check.
Alien Handmade Doll
From the Description: "One thing that makes her even more unique is the fact that a walnut was used for her head. If you have any questions do not hesitate to contact me."
Regretsy Says: "QUESTIONS
1. What am I looking at?
2. Where did the alien get the horse? Is it an alien horse? If so, does it contain nuts?
2. What if I wanted the head made out a filbert?
3. How much is shipping to Earth?
4. Can I buy this if I have squirrels?"
We Say: Give your child the toy every kid is begging for: an alien with hair extensions riding a pony. It's sure to be a hit!
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/MyCraftsR4U
Orange Peel Hair Accessory
From the Description: "This rose is an orange peel that after a process become hard and durable. It is gorgeous!"
Regretsy Says: "Wow, thanks so much for upcycling this orange peel. Really its just so great. Hey, did you know that orange peels are biodegradable, and completely disappear in about a month? True story. Of course now that you varnished it and hot glued it to a bobby pin, its going to be in a landfill for 50 years."
We Say: So that's where my cinnamon bun went!
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/Glenisfranco
Groundhog Native American Shield
From the Description: "An original painting on leather with acrylic paint A good shield was believed capable of affording the bearer the protection of the Great Spirit. They frequently bore sacred feathers or symbolic pictures of animals who customarily had appeared to the owner during a vision, which thought to endow him with the qualities of the animals that were depicted."
Regretsy Says: "As soon as I saw this, I knew there would be 6 more weeks of crap."
We Say: Is that groundhog eating a potato chip? Why?
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/tracystudioinwoods
From the Description: "One size fits most brushed fleece poncho. Make a statement and stand out in a crowd in this gorgeous print poncho in polar fleece. Warm, yet light-weight and machine washable — you can't lose with these elegant wardrobe additions! Please choose from those pictured: blue moose in the woods, purple brocade, blue toile, pink/white/black stripe or hot air balloons on turquoise."
Regretsy Says: "Whenever I think 'awesome fashion,' I immediately think, 'brushed fleece.' I mean, it's just automatic at this point.
"Kind of like, 'one-size-fits-most' and 'must have.' I'm not sure about 'elegant' and 'poncho,' but then, I haven't seen it in 'Blue Moose in the Woods.'"
We Say: Sign us up for a "Blue Moose in the Woods," pronto!
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/DonnasDesignsSC
From the Description: "Natural jute mask."
Regretsy Says: "Well, I found my Halloween costume!"
We Say: Don't look directly at the mask! It'll steal your soul!
From the Description: "*CIRCLES OF VERISIMILITUDE* represents numerous useful platters, clocks, and mirrors, all created from large metal container lids, 24 inches inches in diameter, and formed from collections of miscellaneous 'stuff.'"
We Say: We suppose there are worse things you could do with your used disposable razors.
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/webercrafthouse
Lady Gaga Embroidered Toilet Paper
From the Description: "Embroidered toilet paper. Only the first sheet is embroidered, this can be taken off and saved in a scrapbook/memory book."
Regretsy Says: "Are there really people who save toilet paper in scrap books? Is this really a thing? And if so, do you call it 'crapbooking?'"
We Say: The ultimate in luxury!
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/HiBird
Royal Turtle Claw Pin
From the Description: "Victorian inspired turtle foot, with gold foil, brass wire, and bee detail. Antique green point-back rhinestones add extra sparkle, and the brass dangle gives a touch of whimsy."
Regretsy Says: "Whimsy! Thats the word Id use! Ive got a decaying turtle foot on my cravat and I feel so fanciful! La la la la la!"
We Say: So, what happened to the rest of the turtle?
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/miischelle
From the Description: "Tinkerbell is a loved fairy by young and old. I had to make a second Tink pillow for my daughter because she wanted this one so bad. This pillow is the perfect addition to anyone's collection of Tink, and it is sure to be loved by all Tinkerbell lovers as it is unique."
Regretsy Says: Our Regretsy friends made a detailed diagram illustrating this crafter's inspiration.
We Say: Looks like Tinkerbell may have gotten a little tipsy.
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/rjblueyes
Sex and the City Earrings
From the Description: "These would be fun to wear when you go out with the girls for Cosmos!"
Regretsy Says: "Boy, that would be fun! I mean, If anyone still drank Cosmos. And if you had friends."
We Say: People on your ears? Creepy!
See More: http://www.etsy.com/shop/PopBangles
Yarn Monster Dress
From the Description: "This dress is made with a lot of yarn ... felt, sequins, and satin eyeballs. The inner shell is made out of felt and is close fitted to the body. The bodice is boned, there is a back invisible zipper."
Regretsy Says: "This might be the best 'Girl trying to look sexy in a stupid $335 dress' costume I've seen this year."
We Say: It's hard to tell who's more bored — the girl or the dress.
See More: www.etsy.com/shop/devaniweaver