"I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels." ~ Carlos Mencia
The Wicked Witch of the East; Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, the Wizard and, yes, those be-dazzling ruby slippers (originally Silver Slippers -- oh that Adrian!).
Despite her dreary, repressed, pig-slop smelling, pre-pubescent years on a poor family farm in Kansas, beloved orphan Dorothy Gale wondered what life might be like beyond her own picket fence. As with many adolescents, feeling no alternative but to run away in order to save her dog Toto from everyone's favorite mean neighbor, Elmira Gulch, she meets up with a crackpot magician, and -- as happens more often now because of climate change -- she finds herself caught in the winds of a giant tornado. Barely making it home, she gets clobbered by a windswept window and falls through the sub-conscious inward spiral of the twister, kicking off birthday boy L. Frank Baum's masterpiece.
Once awakened -- through the magic of Technicolor -- she meets a village of Munchkins and Glinda the Good Witch, who grants her the ruby slippers. Through one of the most memorable Hollywood musical numbers ever produced, Dorothy learns to follow that conscious outward spiral to womanhood -- the ever-famous yellow brick road.
In hindsight it's easy to recognize the irony of Dorothy fulfilling a Wizard's challenge to get home and then discovering that she had the ability to be there all the time, the Scarecrow hoping for intelligence only to discover he's already a genius, the Tin Man longing to love only to discover his heart, a Cowardly Lion who's actually fearless and the citizens of Emerald City discovering that their Wizard was actually an eccentric old man. That's the Hollywood version in a nutshell. (OK! OK! Aficionados needn't act on your urge to correct or comment on my interpretation, or misinterpretation...ya' know you're dying to and ya' know who you are!)
Much like Dorothy and her cohorts feeling the need to visit the WASH & BRUSH-UP CO. ("Rub, rub here, rub, rub there") to look their very best in preparation for meeting the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, the next time you've been away from home and need to tidy up a bit -- green skin or not -- you don't need to visit the Merry Old Land of Oz to feel fresh.
So if you've been out riding a twister, romping through fields of heroin-laden poppies, "liquidating" evil witches with water, or, more to the point, walking miles in someone else's shoes (ruby-encrusted or not, who knows what the Wicked Witch of the East had going on between her witchy toes??), your feet can become riddled with fungus instead of remaining lady-like-soft-n-sumptuous. In the event that yours do, put your best foot forward and treat your athlete's foot (Come on, chicks get it too!) by steeping your frazzled feet in warm, salted water (one teaspoon of salt per cup of water) for five to ten minutes every day.
The salt kills the fungus and reduces perspiration. When finished, dry each little piggy thoroughly before slipping your dogs back into your Manolo Blahniks, Chucky T's or even your ruby slippers.
Along her trip, Dorothy's search for home inspires us, while her ruby slippers represent the "amazing feats" of which we're all capable. So whether you're on a spaceship to Mars, a cross-town bus, or riding a twister to OZ, mindfully enjoy the sights and sensations along the way as much as those when you arrive at your final destination. Don't forget: it's all about the journey! While searching for your heart's desire somewhere over the rainbow, emulate Baum's Dorothy, and remember to have the "be here now" ability to use your brain, your heart and your courage simultaneously.
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