It's National Bathroom Reading Week; Now Clean That Porcelain

"Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are." ~Mason Cooley

Yeah -- you do it -- go ahead and fess up. Many folks, both men and women, immerse themselves into their favorite literature while making their bladder gladder.

What are you reading this summer, in the bathroom or otherwise?

If you're a bathroom reader, there's no reason for shame -- you're not alone. Surveys tell us that roughly two-thirds of North Americans admit to reading in the bathroom.

It's not just a "dude" thing either (unless those piles of Vogue, Mademoiselle and Marie Claire are for men who are attempting to tap into the freshest fashion trends), and it's not just an American thing. If you really think about it, why not read? The "loo" is often the coolest and the lightest room in most homes, and for some, the restroom is often an island of calm in an otherwise topsy-turvy world. (Hmmm...I wonder if the porcelain-palace was the inspiration for "A Clean, Well Lighted Place" by Ernest Hemingway?)

And you can always learn something new, novel and exciting while you're...ummm...waiting. For instance, the Scott Paper Co. conducted a survey revealing that two-thirds of people who read in the bathroom have either masters or doctorate degrees.

By reading too, you're not just multi-tasking, you're enriching your mind, and come to think of it - you're also promoting literacy. And although he wasn't publicly an advocate of reading, W.C. Fields considered his bathroom his library. And much like him, while "loitering" perhaps you'll consider enjoying one of the classics like Gone with the Wind, Lord of the Flies, A Raisin in the Sun, Watership Down, or maybe even Great Expectations...you get my drift.

And while personally, I'm not an advocate of paging through poems on the potty, jones-ing for journalism on the john, craving copy on the can, or even thumbing the thesaurus on the throne -- someone I'm most near and dear to (...and you know who you are) is. I've been assured, however, that reading in the bathroom isn't as nasty as it appears, and that other areas of most homes are probably less hygienic.

In the event that your bathroom isn't too tidy, to make National Bathroom Reading Week a family tradition in your home, you'll need to remember just a few things. Make it wholesome, strive for sanitary, keep it sparkling and lean to clean. To do so, place one cup of baking soda down your toilet or drain every week to help maintain the PH balance of your septic tank and to keep it flowing smoothly. Follow by adding one-quarter cup borax to your toilet bowl to help clean and deodorize it. Swish the mixture with a brush and allow it to stand for at least an hour or even better, overnight... then just flush.

Who knows, the luster of your lavatory may just trigger a tome.

As you all know, I don't read books; I write them...you'll never catch me doing "that" in "there." But if you're so inclined, for National Bathroom Reading Week, by all means plunge into your favorite book.