Pigeon Czar Would Crack Down On Cracked Corn

“Stop! You’re under arrest. Drop the breadcrumbs, put your hands up, and back away from the bird feed!”

Believe it or not, New York City cops could be issuing the above demand. City Councilman Simcha Felder has proposed a ban and $1,000 fine on pigeon feeding, according to the Associated Press.

Pigeons, also known by their detractors as "rats with wings," excrete an average 25 pounds of droppings each year ... per bird. Such weight lands on unsuspecting heads, shoulders, and freshly laundered suits, ruffling the feathers of already edgy New Yorkers.

Previous attempts to shoo pigeons have been unsuccessful, even catastrophic. A program to add pigeon-hungry hawks to city parks ended after a hawk attacked a Chihuahua. Councilman Felder therefore proposes New York City go to the root of the problem and appoint a "pigeon czar" to crack down on feed pushers.

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