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3.10.2008 12:27 PM

The New 7 Deadly Sins

Thou Shalt Give a Hoot and Not Pollute

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Photo: Jerome Bosch / Wikimedia Commons

By Dan Shapley

Don't do drugs, kids. Not even a little. And don't envy those who do.

The Vatican has reportedly trumpeted some 21st-century sins that reflect the more complicated moral landscape we all have to navigate.

No longer is it enough to avoid sloth, but now we have to go green, since polluting the environment is one of the "new" deadly sins. Exxon Mobil, it would seem, is doubly cursed since it raked in insane profits (a new no-no) all the while fueling global warming.

Genetic modification is also on the list, which should bring hellfire raining down on Monsanto and most of the Midwest, where all those corn and soy seeds are planted.

All joking aside (whew! joking ain't deadly, and neither is bad grammar), here are the deadliest sins, both old and new:

The Original Deadly 7

  1. Pride
  2. Wrath
  3. Lust
  4. Gluttony
  5. Envy
  6. Sloth
  7. Greed

21st-Century Sinning

  1. Genetic Modification
  2. Experimenting on Humans
  3. Polluting the Environment
  4. Causing Social Injustice
  5. Causing Poverty
  6. Becoming Obscenely Wealthy
  7. Taking Drugs

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