Things That Make Us Go Hmm
Maybe it's because I'm cranky that an eight-mile car trip just took me 50 minutes to drive. Or it could be that I've seen one too many Pamela Anderson interviews where her caricature cleavage outshines her pro-PETA messages.
Plain and simple (the way Sarah Palin likes to think), sometimes Hollywood is annoying. And though I may be biting the hand that feeds me, right now I need to get these irritations off my nonsilicone chest.
1. Driving a Prius
It's getting kind of ridiculous that this car has become Hollywood's environmental badge. C'mon, scouts, this car is not the ONLY solution out there.
What we really need is to figure out how to improve L.A.'s mass transit debacle. Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm made his point when he picked up a hooker (in his Prius) just so he could use the carpool lane to get to his Lakers game in time for the opening tip-off.
2. Being Photographed at Farmers' Markets
Sure they're fun to go to now and then, but celebs (this means you, Jennifer Garner) often seem to eat up the photo op more than the marketing errand. (Hey, we already know white people like farmers' markets!)
3. Obscenely Expensive Designer Eco Totes
Because Whole Foods or Target bags are not good enough for the glitterati, they'll fork over $495 for a Stella McCartney organic cotton shopper, double that for an Hermès silk tote or $1,720 for a Louis Vuitton canvas model.
And sadly, these are the same fashionistas who wait-list weeks and months for an über-expensive, totally un-PC snakeskin or rabbit-fur designer bag to stash in their walk-in closets.
4. Sanctimonious Eco Hypocrites
I'd like to say they know who they are, but they probably don't because they're surrounded by "people" (assistants, publicists and other employees) who assure them that attending a Global Green party will offset their private jet trips and five palatial, fully staffed homes scattered across the globe.
5. Green Award Shows
It is high time that the recycled green carpet, solar-powered tents and other sustainable features become the norm for ALL Hollywood productions and not reason for a self-congratulatory press release. Don't award shows provide enough self-adulation without the additional boast of how-great-we-are-because-we-party-green-too? Basta!