money

I'm often described as a professional penny-pincher. After all, I make my living writing about and reporting on ways to save a buck, and help save the planet in the process. I think my dollar stretching skills are programmed in my DNA. The Yeager family crest even bears the inscription "Spartica Homo Erectus," Latin for "Cheapskate Who Stands on Two Feet."

So here I am, proud to be among the most savvy shoppers in America, and I'm still paying $4 a gallon for gasoline when last week the national average fell to just $2.50 a gallon, the lowest price in over a year and a half. Have I lost my money-saving mind? Is my frugal libido dead?

No, you see I've made a pledge to continue to pay $4 a gallon for gas. Or, more accurately, to pay the lowest price I can find and then bank the difference in my '$4 A Gallon Savings Club.' So at $4 a gallon it used to cost about $60 to fill up my Toyota pickup truck, and now it tops off at closer to $40. Every time I fill up, I stick the $20 I saved into my Savings Club envelope. Since I fill up about once a week, at this rate I'll squirrel away more than $1,000 over the next twelve months if gas prices remain this low.

Like the old Christmas Savings Clubs that were popular when I was a kid, it's easy to build a nice nest egg by saving a little bit at a time as part of your daily money management routine. Sure, we complained about paying $4 for a gallon of gas, but we got use to it and adjusted our household budgets and driving behavior to pay for it. Now that the price has dropped, why not bank the savings rather than spend it on something else or, worst of all, go back to our old driving habits?

And that last point is why the $4 A Gallon Savings Club is as much about environmental stewardship as it is about money. When gas actually cost $4 a gallon, the good news was that we drove less and our consumption dropped for the first time in decades. The environment was the winner, and, from what I could see, nothing awful happened to us because we drove less. Of course that drop in consumption/demand was one of the primary reasons why gas prices came back down -- at least for the time being.

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One of my all-time favorite movies is the 1979 classic Being There, starring Peter Sellers. The late Sellers (of Pink Panther and Dr. Strangelove fame) plays Chance the Gardener, a simple minded but lovable manservant who lives his whole life cloistered in the estate of an elderly patron, only to be abruptly thrust into the outside world upon his master's death. Sellers' clueless character is eventually heralded as one of the great economic minds of his time, pointing out through his innocence and simple thinking the follies of the self-deceived "real world" he encounters.

If you're a simple cheapskate like me, you're probably feeling a lot like Chance the Gardener these days. I know I am. With the recent and ongoing implosion of the U.S. economy, quite honestly my phone has been ringing off the hook with questions from reporters writing articles about getting frugal -- and fast -- in order to weather the hard times that are upon us.

I guess we've entered the Age of the Cheapskate, and frugal folks like me, who know far more about hedge trimming than hedge funds, are the new financial oracles. Chance the Gardener, take a bow.

While I've never claimed to be a mastermind of high finance (a critic once said that I am to the community of personal financial pundits what paint-by-numbers is to the art world), I'll wager that the most effective solutions for making it through these complex financial times may in fact be the simplest. I'm not talking about on a macro-economic level, with its nearly trillion dollar federal bailout of credit markets, but on a personal level, in your own life.

When asked for personal financial advice for surviving -- and even thriving -- in these troubled economic times, I keep coming back to a single word: Simplify. Almost without exception, whenever you simplify your life, three things happen. It usually costs less, it's nearly always better for the environment, and -- here's the best part -- it inevitably makes you happier.

Simplify. Drive less by consolidating trips, telecommuting, shortening your work week, walking or bicycling. Stay at home more with family and friends, making your own fun rather than paying to be entertained. Cook more meals at home and eat lower on the food chain. Consider downsizing your house, moving closer to where you work, or living in -- and heating! -- only part of your home in the wintertime. De-clutter your life and boost your finances by selling stuff you don't use or no longer want. Do more things for yourself rather than pay others to do things for you, and maybe then you can even cancel your gym membership.

How is any of that about sacrifice or hardship? It's all about living a better life -- and living lighter on the planet -- by consuming and spending less. Ghandi said it best: "Live simply so that others may simply live." I agree, and think Chance the Gardener would too.

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Are you a shopaholic? You know you're a shopaholic if a thief steals all your credit cards and goes on a shopping spree, but when you get your monthly bill it's the lowest one you've had in years.

As I've written here before, if you're a typical American you can't honestly embrace the green movement without also accepting that you need to consume less in your own life. We Americans are only five percent of the world's population, but we consume almost thirty percent of the world's resources. Conservation starts with the next time you get out your wallet or open your purse.

How to break yourself of a spending addiction? Try a spending detox, or what I call a fiscal fast: Go for a week or more each year without spending any money.

Think of it as forgoing the use of legal tender for the sake of tenderizing your non-monetary soul.

The Golden Rule: NO stockpiling in advance. A fiscal fast is the week to use it up, make it last, or do without.

It's a chance to eat up the groceries in your cupboards and refrigerator, especially food stuff nearing its expiration date. It's the week to try carpooling or walking or bicycling to work rather than driving. And a fiscal fast gives you a chance to finally open up those little bottles of shampoo you've been saving from the Holiday Inn for the past 20 years, and rediscover all the terrific clothes in your closet you forgot you even own.

It's a week for your family to make its own fun, rather than pay for entertainment; dig out those old board games you haven't played in years or borrow some books from the library.

A fiscal fast will put you in touch with your own green cheapskate and do three things to help reshape your relationship with money and stuff. First, you'll save some money during the week, which is always a good thing, particularly in challenging economic times like these. Don't rush out the following week and spend what you saved during the fast; instead use it to pay down some debt or put it in your savings account.

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It's not often that a 50-year-old balding cheapskate like me has a chance to look cool. But I had my moment to gloat last year when my wife and I went to rent a car along the coast of Crete.

A brash foursome of 90210-good-looking American college jocks barged ahead of us in line, only to be told that all the cars available had manual transmissions. That's the case in most countries of the world other than the U.S., where only 5% of us drive a stick shift. They glanced at each other with uncertainty, and then their fearless leader said cockily, "A stick? Cool man! How hard can it be?"

After waiting patiently, my wife and I finally got the keys to our rental car and headed out to the parking lot. There sat the four pushy princes in their five-speed Fiat, lurching forward a couple feet at a time, then stalling, lurch, stall, lurch, stall....

Smoke rose from the tires. A series of foot-long skid marks trailed off across the parking lot behind their car, looking like the "Tear Here" marks on the bottom half of your electric bill. The lurching motion became so violent at one point that the driver's Smith sunglasses flew off his face and smacked against the windshield.

The cool dudes inside the car were not amused, although the gathering crowd of locals was having a blast watching. As I smoothly slid our rental car into first gear and rolled out of the parking lot, I gave a friendly shoulder shrug to the onlookers and said something in quasi English-Greek, like "Yish! Crazy Americans."

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Summertime and the living is cheap. For some reason, my WAD really flares up in the summer (that's "Wallet Anxiety Disorder," BTW).

Don't get me wrong: Summertime is fun time, and I like to enjoy my summers just as much as the hairy guy in the Speedo next to me. That disturbing mental image aside, I see folks spending a lot of money in the summertime that's both unnecessary and tough on the environment.

Consider these sizzling summer savers:

1. Support your local farmers and economy by shopping at farmers' markets and picking your own fruits and veggies.
To get started, go to usda.gov and search "farmers markets," or use the handy tool in the Local Info box at the left of The Daily Green. Find a pick-your-own farm near you here.

Local produce is fresh and healthy, and it leaves a smaller carbon footprint since it's transported less. Plus, prices are low (and often negotiable), and it's more family fun than a trip to the money-sucking Cineplex.

2. Put your butt in gear rather than your car.
Forty percent of the driving we do is within two miles of where we live. Make a pact this summer to walk or bicycle whenever the trip is two miles or less. Your bank account -- and Mother Nature -- will thank you for it.

3. Rediscover your public library.
Libraries are not only FREE, but they're COOL. Use the library's air conditioning rather than your own; read and attend summer programs at your local branch. And remember, many libraries loan movies too.

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So the price of food has gone up about 8% in the past year, according to the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics. Stop your complaining! As my mother always told me, "I like my whine in a glass, but not at the dinner table."

I'd have more sympathy for a lot of Americans who are upset about soaring food costs if it weren't for the fact that most of them can reduce what they spend on food by about 25% if they'd only do as my mother also told me: "Shut your yap and clean your plate!" (Now you know where I get my gifts for both language and tact.)

Prepare for shock and awe (and national embarrassment): According to government sources, roughly 25% of the food Americans buy goes to waste. That's about one pound of food, per American, per day -- thrown in the trash. Sadly we've crossed the line from Land of Plenty, to Land of Waste.

Last week one of our readers suggested 10 easy ways to reduce food waste (thanks Mrs. Green!). Here's five more ways to cut your food costs -- and your carbon footprint:

* Shop for groceries no more than once every two weeks. Time and again, studies confirm the obvious: Q.) How to keep yourself from buying too much stuff? A.) Shop less frequently. Grocery shopping is no different, but the key is to shop smart in order to avoid spoilage. Cook two or three meals' worth of each recipe at the beginning of the two-week period, and immediately freeze the extra portions for the second week. Freeze any meat that you won't be eating within the next 48 hours.

Use up fresh fruits and vegetables first, and then supplement them with just-as-healthy frozen as you get into the second week. Check expiration dates on dairy products before you buy them; in most cases you can find products that will remain fresh for two weeks or longer. The idea is to always USE UP what you buy before you shop again.

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Hello. By way of introducing myself, I am -- proudly -- The Ultimate Cheapskate, America's Cheapest Man.

That doesn't necessarily make me America's Greenest Man. But the two are definitely related, and that's what I want to rant a tad about in this blog.

Case in point: The other day someone questioned both my credentials as an environmentalist and as a cheapskate when they found out that I use disposable razors. "What do you expect?" I said. "I hardly ever find the other kind in my neighbor's trash."

Yeah, that's right. Just try me.

I think it's great that more Americans are finally embracing the green movement. But I think there's a bit of hypocrisy at play here. You see, if you're an average American, I think you can't honestly embrace the green movement without also accepting that it probably means that you need to spend -- and consume -- a lot less in your own life. Conservation starts at home, not in the rainforests of the Amazon or in developing nations like India or China. Dare I remind you, Americans are only five percent of the world's people, but we consume thirty percent of the world's resources?

In my lexicon, a "cheapskate" is the polar opposite of a "conspicuous consumer." The latter, of course, are folks who spend and consume at warp speed, primarily to show others that they're capable of doing so. But cheapskates like me are too self confident -- and frankly too smart -- to buy and consume things we don't need or even want, particularly when so many others have so very little and Mother Earth is already hyperventilating as a result of our over-consumption.

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