jokes

When I saw this fantastic AP image by Murad Sezer on the venerable Christian Science Monitor, I thought of one thing: I Has a Bucket!.

Of course, this lovable walrus, Sara, doesn't have a bucket, or even a buckit. She is performing with her Russian trainer during a show at the newly opened Istanbul Dolphinarium in Istanbul, Turkey. While it's true walruses don't play instruments exactly in the wild -- much as chimps don't generally smoke cigars or rollerskate on their own -- many do argue that well-cared-for animals in captivity can help inspire conservation.

Sadly, wild walruses are seriously threatened by global warming.

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Kurt Cobain may have been wrong: a British study suggests fish feel pain (big surprise, right?) -- and higher feelings remain a possibility. According to the global Emo movement, lots of animals already have deep, soulful feelings... at least two-dimensional macro animals.

Of course we still know very little about how other animals' brains actually work, so Douglas Adams or Neil Gaiman could still prove to be right, and it could turn out that dolphins, mice, rats or other species may actually be the wisest of us all. Until they decide to make their superiority obvious to us lesser beings, we'll have to try to figure out how to be the best stewards of the Earth on our own.

These days other species have a lot to be sad, and emo, about. New research suggests that plants even communicate with each other to warn of impending danger, and to earn a chance to fortify their natural defenses. But they can't effectively warn each other of wholesale conversion of habitat to urban, suburban and agricultural development. They can't warn themselves of global warming, sea level rise, industrial pollution or over-harvesting.

Under intense pressure, our oceans seem to be reverting to a primordial stew, and don't get me started on vanishing land wildlife and the fact that half of all primates are endangered (yum, bushmeat!).

Maybe these animals have a point:

10. Emo Shower Cat

You may have already seen our funniest green LOL cats. Now we present to you… Emo Shower Cat. It's true cats usually aren't big fans of water, though they do love seafood. Evolution's a bitch.

9. Emo Cat and Dog

It's nice to have friends. This adorable pair reminds us of Homeward Bound, only without Michael J. Fox and not cloyingly annoying. I had to watch 30 seconds of that movie to edit our list of best green movies for kids and I wanted to poke my eyes out with a blunt pencil. I can't believe I liked that as a kid.

8. Emo Gorilla

Great apes (don't call them monkeys people, please) have a lot to be depressed about. For one thing they haven't gotten over the murderous demise of their friend Diane Fossey. Oh, and they are tired of their babies being ripped out of their arms and sold to zoos, although they don't mind when kids throw them popcorn (don't tell their keepers I told you).

Mostly they don't like war, slash and burning or being made into still lifes.

7. Emo Gonzo

Like Eeyore, Gonzo is a pretty emo guy. We're really not sure what kind of, um, animal he is. But we think Jim Hansen was awesome. Thank you Wikimedia. You are awesome too.

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As this oh-so-useful timeline of Internet memes shows, viral videos have long kept cubicle warriors smiling through their TPS reports and teenagers laughing all the way to MySpace. It's not all fun and games though: from Obama Girl to Tea Partay to OK Go, effective viral videos can shape elections, push millions of products and establish artists.

Short, catchy videos can also draw attention to causes and motivate people to action. Just ask The Nature Conservancy, or even TDG's own Glen, The Global Warming Groundhog.

While it can be debatable whether serious "mission" movies like Blood Diamond or thrillerized fare like The Day After Tomorrow really make an impact with viewers, history shows that humor — done well — can be a powerful force for social change. Think Jonathan Swift, Lenny Bruce and Shakespeare. Or arguably the good folk of JibJab.

You also might want to check out the new site Go Green Tube, which offsets a pound of carbon for each video viewed.

So here are the picks for the most viral green videos. Add yours in the comments, and tell us what you think of these selections!

Note: Several of these videos include strong language and adult themes, and are not suitable for children. Also note: the videos get funnier as you go down the list. So let the countdown begin...

10. Best Student Film – Save the Animal Crackers!

This video has great production values, and executes a smart, amusing concept really well. We didn't find it sidesplittingly hilarious, but it definitely makes an impact. Plus, we like the fact that it was made by college students.

The National Geographic Channel had asked college kids to create something for their Annual Preserve Our Planet Film + PSA Contest, with the theme “what you do counts.” This finalist is by Genna Duberstein of American University.

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Although some might argue that they have jumped the shark, lolcats seem to be everywhere these days, having spread far beyond the imageboard 4chan in 2005. They appear regularly all over the Internet, from social news sites to chumby ads, and have been covered in Time. Some 61% of the Bible has now been translated into lolspeak.

Although lolcats are based on animals (and the form of expression evolved beyond cats long ago, notably to a certain elephant seal), the heavily anthropomorphized images rarely relate directly to the natural world, beyond basic needs (om nom noming, looking for things to om nom nom, and so on) -- until now.

The new website Global Warming Hates Kittens takes the Internet phenom to new levels, with the tagline "Kittens are very concerned about climate change." The site encourages users to submit their cat photos, then links a humorous caption to legit info about the very real threat posed by climate change. (Course some might argue that they aren't true lolcats, since they don't have the text superimposed on the image, true macro style. That's why I took the liberty to combine their images and text via icanhascheezburger.com).

As an example, Global Warming Hates Kittens shows a placid scene of a cat relaxing above a gorgeous Venetian canal. The caption "Venice kitten sez: Global warmingz takes mai home" links to information about the dangers of sea level rise. The site will only be as good as the community of users, but it seems like a good way to get more people engaged in thinking about climate change, while having some fun.

In honor of Global Warming Hates Kittens, here's my list of the best "green" lolcats from the Net:

http://icanhascheezburger.com

1. May I Present to You… The Ocean

All kidding aside, the world's oceans are in serious jeopardy, from growing dead zones, overfishing, oil spills, floating plastic and much more, not to mention widespread disruption from global warming. The Earth is largely an aquatic planet, and the health of the oceans effect the health of us all.

2. gudbai beachez

Global Warming Hates Kittens links this adorable little trooper to a WWF report about the potentially devastating effects of worldwide sea level rise, which is expected to be as much as 5 mm per year over the next 100 years. That means disappearing nations in the Pacific, loss of crucial wetlands and rising floodwaters.

http://icanhascheezburger.com

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